Friday, July 21, 2006
Things aren't looking very good. And today has been quite a bad day so far...
I just don't know how to put it.
I am beginning to hate weekends. Besides the Sun mornings in church =)
Weekends mean that the week has come to an end. And Fri is the deadline where all homework has to be submitted. And it means that a new week is approaching. Another week nearer to Prelims and the A levels.
This mid year was a disaster. I really studied. But not enough. As what my results show. I had wanted to do better than block test. Instead, it's worse than it. And as I try to pick myself up to start working hard, I just have myself thinking that how stupid I have been. While we were having the post-mortem of the exam, I knew many answers and actually the papers weren't that hard, especially Maths. How can I not realise that the working was such after all that practice!! I just feel dumb...
Moreover, yesterday during Maths tutorial, Mr Chua gave us a vector qns to do. I felt so disappointed at myself for not being able to do it offhand. It was relatively simple and yet I couldn't do!
And things have been made worse with the VP speaking to us yest, telling us how badly we have performed. And today with Ms Lai speaking to my class about University entry points and how many days left etc. Not that I don't want to start and do better. I really want to do well! Like who doesn't?? I am stressing out and I am feeling the strain.
I opened an email and saw the pics of mum and dad in Japan. Seeing them so happy and loving really made me feel even more guilty. I want to get the grades and do well in the A levels. But looking at how things go, I don't know if I can make it. I may just go crazy even before taking the A levels. Like today, I got all so moody in class all of a sudden. I got angry coz I couldn't do a simple maths manipulation qns. And even Dianne saw how moody I was. It's been sometime ever since I felt this way.
Crying is still the best way out for me...
-----------------------
~Rach~ Mum and Dad, I am sorry...
当我不得不承认
从跌倒失败
也曾经守在阴霾
不看不听不说傻傻的发呆
难道我就被打败
多幸运有你
使我的生命充满希望
从今之后不在垂头丧气走开
所有人的期待
让我站起来
甩掉了主败
从今全打开
我终于明白
fly 尽全力在飞起来
没有后悔不后退
我让你刮目相看
just fly向世界证明我存在
努力过的汗水不断灌溉
美好未来
cause i can fly
yes i can fly
不看不听不说傻傻的发呆
难道我就被打败
多幸运有你
使我的生命充满希望
从今之后不在垂头丧气走开
所有人的期待
让我站起来
甩掉了主败
从今全打开
我终于明白
fly 尽全力在飞起来
没有后悔不后退
我让你刮目相看
just fly向世界证明我存在
努力过的汗水不断灌溉
美好未来
cause i can fly
yes i can fly
fly 尽全力在飞起来
没有后悔不后退
我让你刮目相看
just fly向世界证明我存在
努力过的汗水不断灌溉
美好未来
cause i can fly
yes i can fly
oh i believe
yes i believe
i believe
oh i believe i can fly
looked thru life at 4:03 PM