Friday, July 21, 2006
Things aren't looking very good. And today has been quite a bad day so far...
I just don't know how to put it.
I am beginning to hate weekends. Besides the Sun mornings in church =)
Weekends mean that the week has come to an end. And Fri is the deadline where all homework has to be submitted. And it means that a new week is approaching. Another week nearer to Prelims and the A levels.
This mid year was a disaster. I really studied. But not enough. As what my results show. I had wanted to do better than block test. Instead, it's worse than it. And as I try to pick myself up to start working hard, I just have myself thinking that how stupid I have been. While we were having the post-mortem of the exam, I knew many answers and actually the papers weren't that hard, especially Maths. How can I not realise that the working was such after all that practice!! I just feel dumb...
Moreover, yesterday during Maths tutorial, Mr Chua gave us a vector qns to do. I felt so disappointed at myself for not being able to do it offhand. It was relatively simple and yet I couldn't do!
And things have been made worse with the VP speaking to us yest, telling us how badly we have performed. And today with Ms Lai speaking to my class about University entry points and how many days left etc. Not that I don't want to start and do better. I really want to do well! Like who doesn't?? I am stressing out and I am feeling the strain.
I opened an email and saw the pics of mum and dad in Japan. Seeing them so happy and loving really made me feel even more guilty. I want to get the grades and do well in the A levels. But looking at how things go, I don't know if I can make it. I may just go crazy even before taking the A levels. Like today, I got all so moody in class all of a sudden. I got angry coz I couldn't do a simple maths manipulation qns. And even Dianne saw how moody I was. It's been sometime ever since I felt this way.
Crying is still the best way out for me...
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~Rach~ Mum and Dad, I am sorry...
当我不得不承认
从跌倒失败
也曾经守在阴霾
不看不听不说傻傻的发呆
难道我就被打败
多幸运有你
使我的生命充满希望
从今之后不在垂头丧气走开
所有人的期待
让我站起来
甩掉了主败
从今全打开
我终于明白
fly 尽全力在飞起来
没有后悔不后退
我让你刮目相看
just fly向世界证明我存在
努力过的汗水不断灌溉
美好未来
cause i can fly
yes i can fly
不看不听不说傻傻的发呆
难道我就被打败
多幸运有你
使我的生命充满希望
从今之后不在垂头丧气走开
所有人的期待
让我站起来
甩掉了主败
从今全打开
我终于明白
fly 尽全力在飞起来
没有后悔不后退
我让你刮目相看
just fly向世界证明我存在
努力过的汗水不断灌溉
美好未来
cause i can fly
yes i can fly
fly 尽全力在飞起来
没有后悔不后退
我让你刮目相看
just fly向世界证明我存在
努力过的汗水不断灌溉
美好未来
cause i can fly
yes i can fly
oh i believe
yes i believe
i believe
oh i believe i can fly
looked thru life at 4:03 PM
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
It has been an eventful and fruitful day for me today!
I didn't sleep in lectures and tutorials! And completed Econs MCQ in school with a whole load of maths while the juniors had choir practice!
The night atmosphere is very nice to sit down at the study benches in school and study. The night wind blew towards my back and the fan blew wind towards me. I just felt this circulation of cool air around me. And the more I did, the more I got hang of it. I got interrupted when the juniors called me when they ended their practice. I may stayback and enjoy the calm surroundings in the night sometime again next week...
Dinner with juniors was just very fun!! It was so...innocent! And lame with people just teasing each other. I am glad they are getting along well, not just only between the comm members, but with other members too. They are a great bunch of people! My dear juniors ah...don't stress out kk! still got a long way to go! Jia you!
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Today has been less quiet with the absence of Shazana who went for her track competition and also Azzimah coz she wasn't feeling well. But without the 2 of them, I suddenly feel a sense of loss. Weirdz will never be complete without them. Still, with just Sarah, Dianne, Lee Chen and myself, we still managed to crack out plenty of jokes and conversations and the debate of today was on "fats in mock meat". Lameness debates...
Weirdz will be back in action and together tmr!! Yeah!
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To mel: Jie is really sorry for not being a good jie and offering wrong advices, and landed you in such a roller coaster ride. Take cares!
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~Rach~ There are many things that we don't know and don't need to know.
Deut 29:29 "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."
looked thru life at 10:39 PM
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I am inspired by Ms Lai's talk on Thurs when she talked to us after Maths Lecture. And she is going to speak to each class individually. Darns. But I think it's good! And she would be able to push me on till the end of A levels!
And I am also inspired by Ms Wong's talk yest where she took half an hour going through some powerpoint slides on how to make it to Economics A level papers! And yes, we are 126 days away... I thought what she went through was some crap with a lot of lame stuff. However, to think of it, it's really very true.
I only remember the S-day 7 test. Where you wake up on a Sat or Sun at 7 am and think whether you are going to sleep the extra 2 hours away or get up and do some work. And at 7 pm on a Sat and Sun, are you going to play and party the night away or get down and stay at home to study?
And guess what, I woke up at 645am today and don't feel like sleeping in! Guess I should get adjusted to this lifestyle. Sleep at 12am and wake up at 630am. Sun mornings are already kept for God and so, not going to change that. Sat and Sun nights are already not party times for me. So the only thing I can change is Sat mornings =)
Meeting KXFZs later at ECP to cycle! And to catch up. We need the encouragement especially after the fretful Mid Years!
I miss mum and dad...
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~Rach~ And i miss so many others...
looked thru life at 7:41 AM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
My first post for the month of July. We are officially into the 2nd half of the year 2006. How time flies...
A year ago, we were just trying to adjust ourselves to having choir practices without the seniors.
A year later, I am going back as a senior to see and help the juniors in their choir practice.
It's hard on the juniors as many told me. However, they are doing just fine! It's just the confidence level. They have to also adapt to the sudden volume that they are hearing now as compared to the times where seniors were there too! You guys will get used to it. It's just the beginning stage.
Talked to Xiaoxuan and Ms Lim. Whoa, they do have lots of activities coming up. They are going to be busy. But, it's good bonding time for the choir. Jia you!
Seeing how the juniors coped today, I can relax a bit and not worry too much about them. And seeing how Fishy could cope, I think things would just go well!
Fishy -- > I hope I didn't put too much pressure on you today! I just wanted to make sure that I handed things over to you just as finely as my seniors did! Jia you! =)
It was really great going back and seeing them!
Choir will always be part of me and I will never give MJChoir up...
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I should be getting back some papers tmr. It's not going to be nice. But "ren zong shi yao mian dui shi shi". And I am sure going to put in more effort for the remaining 4 months. I don't want to regret further.
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I had a great time with Weirds yesterday. Spent my first time riding a bike at East Coast Park with so many people (6 incl. me).
Thanks Zhen for being the "sweeper" and waiting for the slow ones like me.
Thanks to Azz, SJ, Shaz, Di, Zhen for giving me such wonderful memories at ECP. And for tolerating my screams when I had to scream! Hehe! And for encouraging, and looking after me throughout the ride yest. And for being my really great friends who truly show me the meaning of close friendship, not forgettting KXFZ too!
I enjoyed sitting on the stone bench and feeling the sea breeze as we chit-chatted like we always do. We see each other everyday and chat whenever we can, but I really wonder, how come we do not lack of topic to talk about? Hmm...
I look forward to many more first times with you gals!
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~Rach~
I have truly realised that some things aren't that necessary in life and it would be better if it was let go...
looked thru life at 11:05 PM
