i laughed,
i giggled,
i shouted,
i yelled,
i sang,
and i know..
you must have heard me..
Sunday, September 25, 2005
I AM DYING!!!
Reality is sinking in...
I am sinking in the vast ocean of notes.
(Geog econs maths chinese gp)
Things aren't looking too well for me.
I am drowning the red marks of the never-going-to-pass essays.
I am never going to float.
My days are numbered with 9 days to promos.
My fate has been long determined.
I should have realised JC isn't for me when I got my O level results.
I should have faced the fact that GP isn't my cup of tea.
I resisted the truth and consequences of going to JC.
I am just not the type cut out to study.
I just want to play!!
I just want to eat!!
I just want to be merry!!
I just want to be happy!!
I just want to sing!!
I just want to live serving GOD!!
I just want to study...but not to take exams!!
My brain is over loading...with nothing...
My eyes are getting redder by the day with the stress that's causing the vessels to expand.
My eyes are getting puffy by the constant breakdowns.
My body is breaking down with the lack of sleep that I have so that with the extra time, i can complete my studying.
The application for OGL next year is open.
Half of me wants to go, half of me tells me that I aint eligible...coz i aint going to promote.
It's a reality.
It's sinking in...
I havent got down to studying...
I need to study...
But I cant...
People around me are suffering too!!
With the constant whines from me...
Sorry Azzimah...Dianne...Sarah... I just can't help it...you guys are the closest to me...so you all aren't spared...
Sorry Jeff...for flaring up at you on fri. I just can't take it anymore!
Sorry YC...for flaring up at you too!! And thanks for being there when i needed someone to talk to...(coincidence only ba)...But after listening to you, I know I aint alone and that there is someone out there worse off than me. (No sarcasm here...no energy for that.)
Sorry to You Han...if you were waiting for me on fri...i really didn't mean to abandon you! sorry!
Sorry to all whom i have flared up at! I really aren't in a good mood nowadays. I am always frowning I know...I am sorry if i give a very qian bian look or a bo song look...coz i really can't help it!
I really want the time to pass soon and that everyone around me will just be promoted!!
I dont want to think of the future!
I dont want to think of what happens after the promos!
I just want to be promoted without exams. Silly gal, i am. It would never happen...
I AM DYING!!
Someone throw me a life buoy and tell me i am safe!!
I am throwing in the towel...really no energy to carry on!!
I am sinking...into the darkness of the books...
-----------------------------
~Rach~ Dying....
looked thru life at 9:00 PM
*__me__*
*RacheL*
*10 Feb*
*Tkss - TK 4H 'O4*
*MJC - O5A1O3*
*TKChoir - MJChoir*
*O5A1O3*
*Kai Xin Feng Zi*
*JESUS*